“Ambition is tying our well-being to what other people say or do
Self-indulgence is tying it to what events occur to one
Sanity is tying it to one’s own actions” – Marcus Aurelius
In this age of such dopamine bullets as reels, atrocities, and turbulences, peace and happiness seem to be on the losing end of the war. Yet, this is one of the most fundamental yearnings beneath every endeavour of people from all walks of life.
Becoming a happier person is a process that is largely within our control. It can be broken down into a few steps that can be followed to achieve permanent happiness. They’re neither difficult nor expensive. This is not, however, an exhaustive list.
Gratitude
Simply counting and noticing the positives in our lives can significantly shift our minds’ bias from negativity to positivity, leading to better moods. Writing down the blessings on paper helps. The coffee tasted really good this morning? That’s a blessing no matter how much weight we decide to assign to it. Received an unexpected but meaningful compliment a week ago from someone?
Jotting these minute but subtle details down forces our brain over time to shift its attention towards what’s going right in our lives instead of what’s going wrong. It is not ignoring our problems, however. It’s just choosing what to pay attention to. With practice, the gratitude muscle gets stronger, and we notice positives as second nature.
Exercise
It doesn’t have to be heavy exercise or running marathons. Simply walking for 20-30 minutes a day is guaranteed to contribute to greater mental well-being, not only physical. Every time we engage in the act of simply moving our bodies, we give ourselves a bubble bath of feel-good brain chemicals, according to Wendy Suzuki, a neuroscientist. She mentioned in her ted talk how simply 30 minutes (minimum) workout, even walking, can solidify the brain and protect it from depression and anxiety and boost mood.
Sleep and nutrition
A good night’s sleep and proper nutrition can make someone happier, according to research.
Sleep is our brain’s emotional reset. Chronic sleep deprivation hyperactivates the amygdala (the brain’s threat and emotion centre) while impairing the prefrontal cortex (Executive centre). Without adequate sleep, our capacity for emotional regulation, gratitude, and resilience breaks down, forcing the brain into a default state of reactivity and negativity bias. Nutrition keeps the body healthy, eventually leading to good mental health.
Spending time in nature
It doesn’t always have to be a faraway beach or mountain area. Simply spending time in the local park, lake or neighbourhood with trees and plants can boost feelings of happiness. This experience engages our senses fully (sound of wind, smell of soil), pulling attention into the present moment, similar to mindfulness effects. Nature exposure often comes with movement (walking), which independently boosts mood. It lowers the stress hormone cortisol, heart rate, and blood pressure; activates a relaxed state of the nervous system.
Good quality human relationships
Investing in one’s human connections is one of the most powerful forces for a happy life. Having a good quality bond with parents, spouse, children and friends boosts peace and happiness. If such bonds in your life are at stake, it’s time to fix and improve them. Studies show that people who socialise more are happier.
Being charitable
Studies show that people who give more and help more are happier. It doesn’t have to be a big monetary donation. Simply helping out a stranger in trouble or giving encouragement to a struggling kid counts. The point here is to give without expecting anything. If that act of charity benefits you in some way, is it still an appropriate way to do charity? Of course. Are you feeding the local stray dog a handful of biscuits? Great. You want your child, who is terrified of dogs, to accompany you so that it gets to face its fear? Superb.
In his book, “Think Like A Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace, Purpose, and Happiness Every Day,” author Jay Shetty mentions how one line he heard from a monk once inspired him to study more about happiness. The monk said in his speech, “Plant trees under whose shade you do not plan to sit.”
Let us stop chasing happiness. We can think of it like sleep. The more we chase it, the faster it runs away. We have to attract happiness by focusing on doing the things that make us happy. Like sleep comes automatically while reading a book in bed, I’m confident that happiness will find you if you stick to these well-being habits consistently.
