For Jayden, a 25-year-old resident of St. Petersburg, the prospect of developing feelings for a friend immediately sparked fears of the worst-case scenario. Her hesitation, rooted in a desire to avoid the pain of a breakup or the humiliation of being “made to feel like a fool,” reflects a growing trend of risk aversion defining a generation.
While people have faced the fear of rejection for millions of years, today’s youth are navigating a unique landscape of professional pressures, financial strain, and high rates of loneliness, reports CNN.
According to a study by Brigham Young University’s Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies, only one in three young men and one in five young women aged 22 to 35 in the United States feel confident approaching a romantic interest.
The social media spectacle
The rise of social media has transformed private rejection into a potential public spectacle. Gabriel Rubin, a professor of justice studies at Montclair State University, noted that digital natives are acutely aware that any action—or “drama”—could be broadcast on platforms like TikTok.
Rubin’s research, involving 108 interviews and presented at Society for Risk Analysis’ 2025 SRA Annual Meeting, suggests that Gen Z perceives more dangers in life than previous generations. This leads to a behavioural tendency to avoid risks in favour of guaranteed outcomes, even if the payoff is smaller.
“They said, ‘You don’t want to strike out with a girl, or you don’t want to have a bad day because people might trash you on social media’,” Rubin said, recounting his conversations with students.
The fear of “making others uncomfortable”
The fear is not just of personal embarrassment. Damian Bertrand, a 21-year-old reporter in South Carolina, explained that many avoid approaching others to ensure they do not make someone else uncomfortable.
“The No. 1 thing I don’t want to do in the dating scene is to ruin someone’s day because I asked them to go on a date,” he said.
However, Jayden noted that while she has experienced uncomfortable encounters with men who cannot take a hint, she believes more men should approach women in public with confidence and respect.
Jonathan Haidt, the Thomas Cooley Professor of Ethical Leadership at NYU Stern School of Business, has dubbed this the “anxious generation”. Rubin added that having too much information about how others view you makes it “hard to say anything, to be yourself, to make mistakes, [or] to date”.
Apps and “situationships”
Many young people, including Jayden, have turned to dating apps to ease the tension of flat-out rejection. While these platforms allow for interaction without initial risk, Jayden found that men who appeared bold online often lacked that same confidence in person.
Paul Eastwick, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, argued that this “illusion of ease” removes essential interactions. He suggested that repeated interaction allows people to find appeal in quirks and habits rather than just physical presentation.
Furthermore, the very word “relationship” now carries significant weight for Gen Z. Harry Reis, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, noted that many engage in what he calls “situationships”—arrangements that have the characteristics of a relationship but lack the anxiety-inducing stamp of commitment.
A need for guidance
Experts suggest that the younger generation is being left to navigate these complexities without adequate support. Richard Weissbourd, a senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, stated that parents, schools, and communities do “almost nothing” to prepare youth for love.
He noted that sex education in the US remains focused on “disaster prevention” and abstinence rather than relationship development. Weissbourd warned that while Gen Z’s focus on work-life balance and “protecting their peace” has some benefits, turning too far inward can diminish the ability to form meaningful connections.
Despite the fears, the fundamental human desire for intimacy remains unchanged. “We socialise because that’s part of what our species is designed to do,” said Reis. Weissbourd encouraged young people to remain open to vulnerability, calling the reformation of communities where they can meet naturally a “really urgent and vital issue”.
