Group holidays, from bachelorette trips and family vacations to bucket-list getaways with friends, can often lead to disputes over money.
A recent survey reveals that 2,001 US adults commissioned by PayPal found that 46 per cent of respondents had experienced tension or a “ruined vibe” on a trip because of disagreements over money.
Separately, a survey of 1,000 US adults by payments platform Zelle found that people are often not fully repaid for group expenses, sometimes causing serious disputes. About one in five millennials said they had ended a relationship because of repayment disagreements, reports The New York Times.
The risks of failing to keep track of cash expenses were experienced by Stasia Maltseva, a 36-year-old content manager from Amsterdam, who travelled through Thailand and Cambodia with six friends for two weeks in February 2024.
The group used cash for street food, souvenirs, group massages and tuk-tuk rides, but had no system or receipts to record their spending. Although they planned to settle their expenses after returning home, none of them knew exactly how much each person had paid.
A major argument broke out when one friend believed he was owed more than $200 but could not be repaid because receipts were missing and the group had different recollections of their spending.
Maltseva described the experience as “a battle”, although the friends now joke about it. Finance and friendship experts, however, warn that not every relationship recovers so easily from money disputes.
Experts say one of the most common mistakes travellers make is failing to discuss spending limits and repayment arrangements before planning a trip.
Aja Evans, a New York-based financial therapist and licensed mental health counsellor, said avoiding the conversation can leave people vulnerable about what they can actually afford.
Danielle Bayard Jackson, a friendship coach and author of Fighting for Our Friendships, said people often seek her help to deal with problems arising from group travel.
Jackson said much of the tension stems from what she called a “relationship-killing myth” — the belief among close friends that discussing personal preferences should not be necessary because it could suggest they are not as close as they thought.
The issue can become more complicated when friends have different incomes. Travellers may fear being judged differently depending on how much they earn, creating additional friction within the group.
Experts recommend agreeing on the overall cost, individual spending limits and how expenses will be repaid before leaving for the trip.
Jackson advised those reluctant to discuss money to first understand why they are avoiding the conversation and then use that reason to start the discussion.
She suggested saying: “Hey, I don’t want to make things awkward, but I feel like we should have a conversation about money, to avoid any misunderstandings or disappointment.”
For people on tight budgets, Evans suggested explaining their other financial goals or responsibilities so friends understand that spending limits are not intended to make things difficult.
Frugal travellers should also decide in advance how much they are willing to spend and when they would opt out of a trip if the cost would prevent them from enjoying it. Evans said dealing with the fear of missing out is preferable to carrying resentment.
A nine-day trip to Japan last November involving Malvina Abbott, an 83-year-old retired public defender from San Diego, and three companions showed how different spending habits can complicate group travel.
The group had to balance the preferences of a budget-conscious friend with those of a wealthier traveller who wanted five-star hotels with specific square-footage requirements. It took two months of negotiations to reach a compromise over accommodation.
Because the group had not established a clear approach to uneven spending before the trip, the wealthier friend spent considerable time alone, leading to uncomfortable situations.
Drawing on advice from Priya Parker’s book The Art of Gathering, Jackson suggested asking “what’s the point?” at the beginning of the planning process. The answer can then help determine the destination, budget and guest list.
Experts also recommend discussing spending habits beforehand, including whether some friends enjoy paying restaurant bills while others feel uncomfortable when someone else offers to pay.
For travellers dealing with friends who are unreliable about repayments, Traci Williams, a clinical psychologist and certified financial therapist, advised considering whether they are prepared to lose the money before paying expenses on someone else’s behalf.
If a payment remains outstanding after polite reminders and Venmo requests, Williams suggested starting a conversation with a positive statement such as, “I really enjoyed our time together,” to reduce the likelihood of a defensive response.
Travellers should then explain why receiving the money matters, such as an upcoming bill or savings goal, presenting repayment as an opportunity for the friend to help rather than as a reprimand.
Jackson warned that remaining silent about unpaid debts can create resentment, with people eventually interpreting inaction as a sign of poor character.
Expense-tracking apps are increasingly being used to avoid such disputes. Popular options include Tab, Splitwise, TravelSpend, Splid, Tricount and KittySplit, with some travellers using more than one app.
Lauren Downey, a 30-year-old project manager from Hoboken, New Jersey, used Tab during an 11-person group trip to Italy. She photographed restaurant receipts and recorded each person’s orders before transferring the meal records to Splitwise to divide the costs equally.
Downey said some people may consider bill-settling apps petty, but she found that they significantly reduced stress and helped friends with different financial circumstances travel together more comfortably.
