Bollywood actor Govinda has opened up about the intense grief he experienced following the death of his mother, Nirmala Devi, in 1996, revealing that he once entered the Narmada River believing he would “meet” her again, reports Hindustan Times.
Speaking to ANI, Govinda recalled being in “tremendous pain” after his mother’s death and feeling that his life was over.
“I was in a lot of pain. I was in tremendous pain. At that point, I felt that everything was over; that was it,” he said.
Nirmala Devi, a renowned Hindustani classical vocalist and actor, died on 15 June, 1996, aged 69.
Govinda has often spoken about his close bond with his mother and credited her spiritual influence for shaping his life and career.
Recalling the incident at the Narmada River, he said, “I was at the Narmada River, I thought I would go a little farther into the river and that I would meet my mother again. So, I went into the river.”
When asked if he was attempting to take his own life, Govinda replied, “Kind of. I was deeply attached to my mother. I was too much in love with her.”
However, he said he did not view the experience simply through the lens of suicide.
“Life never ends. It takes on new faces; it takes on new forms,” he said.
Govinda recalled that a sadhu, whom he remembers as Ram Kundal, called out to him and helped him leave the river.
“He called out to me and came towards me. I came out of the river and he asked, ‘What happened, Govind?’” he recalled.
The encounter eventually made him reconsider his life.
Govinda said he realised he had to live for his children and that there was more he needed to experience.
“It took me around 10 to 15 days to come out of that state of mind,” he said.
Reflecting on his career, Govinda said his mother’s dreams for him mattered more than fame or stardom.
“Films are just like toys for me,” he said, adding that acting, heroism and stardom were all manifestations of God in his view.
For him, the greatest achievement was fulfilling his mother’s dreams and serving his family.
On the work front, Govinda is promoting his upcoming film Roopa with Komal Rani Swarnkar.
The film marks his return to acting after several years. He was last seen in Rangeela Raja in 2019, followed by an appearance in the 2022 documentary Naam Tha Kanhaiyalal.
