Parents in the UK and the US are expressing growing confusion as teenagers increasingly use clinical psychology terms, popularly known as “therapy speak”, in everyday family conversations. Terms such as “gaslighting”, “triggering” and “disrespecting boundaries” are frequently used by adolescents to challenge ordinary parental requests, according to mental health professionals.
Carla Hoskins, a 39-year-old mother of six from Hertfordshire, UK, said routine requests for her sons, aged 15 and 18, to do household chores or revise for exams are often met with accusations of “triggering” them, reports BBC.
She said her eldest sons also accuse her of “gaslighting” when she asks about their schoolwork or social lives. Rather than describing their stress or heavy workloads in everyday language, such as having a lot on their plate, they use medicalised terms, making it difficult to resolve household discussions.
Hoskins, who was unfamiliar with these terms before her sons started using them, believes they picked them up from social media. However, she said she maintains an open and close relationship with her children.
A similar situation has emerged in New Jersey, US, where Shannon Salvatoriello, a mother of four, said she was left perplexed by her sons, aged 14 and 17, using therapy-related language to accuse her of violating their personal boundaries.
She said her previous approach of insisting on immediate answers had proved counterproductive over several years. Giving her teenagers space eventually encouraged them to communicate voluntarily. On one occasion, her son shared that he had scored 95 in a Spanish test without being asked, after several days.
Speaking on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour, New York-based psychiatrist Dr Suzanne Garfinkle-Crowell said social media plays a significant role in spreading therapy terminology among adolescents seeking to understand themselves.
She pointed to a shift in how young people communicate their feelings. Instead of describing emotional difficulties in everyday terms, such as struggling with school or conflicts with their mothers, they increasingly use medical labels such as “attachment issues”, “ADHD” and “depression”.
She observed that adolescents, particularly girls, often turn to formal medical terminology because they feel unheard by their parents and society. She also advised parents to seek professional guidance if their children describe genuine symptoms of a medical condition.
Meanwhile, Prof Peter Fonagy, who is leading an independent review of youth mental health, told BBC News that economic and employment uncertainties have made it significantly “harder to be young” today, contributing to a genuine rise in psychological distress.
However, experts have warned against using clinical terminology indiscriminately to describe ordinary emotional experiences.
London-based psychotherapist Julia Samuel cautioned that applying serious medical terms such as “anxiety disorder” to mild, normal distress could reinforce negative emotional patterns and potentially contribute to the development of the very conditions young people are trying to describe.
She stressed that a lack of understanding and the overuse of such terminology pose genuine risks to young people’s well-being.
To bridge the generational communication gap, experts have advised parents to listen empathetically and respond calmly.
Samuel suggested that parents reflect their teenagers’ feelings using everyday emotional language and start conversations by sharing personal experiences rather than asking direct questions.
Echoing this advice, Dr Garfinkle-Crowell urged parents to look beyond clinical expressions to understand the emotions behind them. She suggested asking supportive questions such as, “That sounds like it could be really lonely for you. Is that part of it?”
She also advised parents to remain calm and grounded, avoiding both overreactions and under-reactions.
