Sumaiya Rahman (pseudonym) and Mamun Mia married in 2019 with a dower fixed at Tk1 lakh. Within a year, they had a child. But disputes continued in the family, eventually leading to divorce.
After the separation, Sumaiya filed a case seeking dower and maintenance. The case is still pending before a family court in Dhaka years later.
Three years ago, Sumaiya remarried. But her young daughter remains deprived of both her father’s affection and her mother’s care. The child was not accommodated in her mother’s new family and now lives with her grandmother.
Although her father wants to take custody of her, the grandmother is refusing to hand her over. Mamun also wants the case resolved quickly. He says he wants his daughter back at any cost, but that is not possible without a court order.
Ahead of International Day of Families on 15 May, an investigation found Dhaka’s family courts packed with thousands of similar case files. Even after increasing the number of courts, the growing backlog could not be controlled.
There are now 14 family courts in Dhaka, compared with only three last year.
Apart from divorce-related disputes, the courts deal with cases involving restitution of conjugal rights, dower, maintenance, and custody and guardianship of children.
As of April, nearly 12,000 cases remained pending.
People involved with family courts said one of the key responsibilities of the courts is to attempt reconciliation between the parties.
If reconciliation fails, judicial proceedings begin. The process can take four to five years in some cases, leaving questions unresolved for years, including whether Sumaiya and Mamun’s daughter will eventually live with her father.
Dhaka Metropolitan Sessions Judge Court Assistant Public Prosecutor Shamsuddoha Sumon said steps were being taken to speed up case disposal. “Several measures have been taken, such as increasing the number of courts and introducing e-family courts,” he said.
However, he said litigants often suffer because judges are sometimes unavailable and defendants frequently seek adjournments.
Human Rights Monitoring Organisation Chairperson Mahmuda Akter said family courts previously did not face such pressure. Sharing her experience with family cases, she said most lawsuits involving low-income families centred on dower claims.
“In many upper middle-class families, cases are filed as a way of exercising power,” she said.
“For them, money is not the important issue. The goal is to punish and harass,” she added.
Children suffer
When Sumaiya and Mamun separated in 2021, their daughter was only seven days old. Two years later, her mother remarried. Since then, the child has been growing up with her elderly grandmother.
Eight-year-old Nafiya and six-year-old Arusha are also growing up without both parents together.
Their parents, Rokaiya Sharmin and Nasim Ahmed, married through a family arrangement in 2016.
Nafiya was born in 2018 and Arusha in 2020. Their parents divorced in 2023. After the separation, the daughters initially stayed with their father. But after he remarried, their mother brought them back to live with her.
Human rights activist and Amrai Pari Paribarik Nirjatan Protirodh Jote Executive Director Zeenat Ara Haque told TIMES that even if a family breaks apart, the separation should happen through a proper system. “The children’s wellbeing must come first and a healthy environment should be ensured for them,” she said.
Nijera Kori Coordinator Khushi Kabir said constant conflict between husband and wife was also harmful for children. “It has a deep impact on them. Many parents compromise for the sake of their children. But both sides should seriously think about the children before deciding on divorce,” she said.
“In developed societies, counselling systems exist for couples. Our society lacks that. Previously, joint families often played that role, but now that support system has also weakened,” she added.
‘Respect and understanding needed’
Jagannath University Sociology Department Chairman Prof Farhana Zaman said mutual respect and understanding were essential to sustain families. “In modern times, people are becoming increasingly independent-minded. Everyone wants to prioritise their own wishes and dislikes. As a result, the mentality of compromise has declined,” she said, adding, “The importance of family bonds is also weakening.”
She also said the negative social attitude towards divorce had decreased compared with the past.
Former Executive Director and current adviser to Bangladesh National Women Lawyers’ Association Salma Ali said people today were becoming less willing to respect one another. “Family ties have also become weaker.
People need to give more time to their families,” she said.
Human Rights Monitoring Organisation Chairperson Mahmuda Akter said husbands and wives were no longer giving enough time to each other, creating emotional distance in relationships.
